Hw 58

I was very touched by both of our quest speakers. I found it interesting how comfortable Rob was talking about how he was comfortable about him being gay and adopting a baby. Now I'm not saying its bad to be comfortable with who you are and what you do because i look up to Rob for doing so. Rob stated that he grew up in a very catholic and puerto rican family, now being Puerto Rican myself i know how hard Puerto Ricans are on there children and to add the icing on the cake being gay in a catholic family isn't the easiest thing. Both Rob and Jeanine said they read parenting books but when it finally came down to it the books didn't help that there "motherly" (i use that term loosely) kicked in. Seeing how both Rob and Jeanine are surrounded by kids 24/7 it was nice to hear Rob say he used some of his skills from the classroom back at home, while Jeanine said she wants her child to be successful at life, and because she works as public safety she knows the pressure that falls with being a kid so she will be more understanding as a mother. But that made me wonder will she really be more understanding or just have a better understanding of why her child acted the way he did.

The same night our quest speakers came to class my mom randomly brought up how hard it was raising me. She got into deep detail how i wasn't like any other child and because i was a girl it made it that much harder to control me. Now when i looked back onto my childhood i don't remember ever being that bad (*muwahahah evil laugh) anyway she started going on about how she never even thought about reading a book because she figured it would all come natural. She also said that help and influence from mother figures in her childhood helped guide her on how to raise me.

Having these quest come in defiantly help me understand parenting a little more. Parents just want the "best" for there children and the way they raise you isn't always based on what they believe its sometimes based off of insights from how they where raised. I hope that once i have children it will all come "naturally" because i find it extremely pointless to read a book about something if it doesn't even help me in the long run.

I now know that parents play a big role in helping there children raise there children and so on and so forth, so i will always remember how my parents raise me and won't be shy about asking for some help/ insights. This doesn't mean i will rely on them all the time to tell me how to raise my children but its nice to know that parents are there to give you help even if you didn't approve of it when you where a young child.

HW 57 parenting

Growing up my parents always tried being my best friend, so when i would get in trouble and they would ground me i would never understand why they where so mean and i would throw tantrums asking how they are my friends when they yell at me. As soon as i got older and understood the true meaning of "parent" i realized trying to be your child's friend was all part of the program. Just like acting all gushy and mushy over a 1 yr old baby. I believe after a certain point babies should no longer be treated like a cute puppy, once they start to walk they should be talked to like a normal grown adult so they can catch on to the way adults talk and mature slowly.

Since I'm adopted not only was i raised by my real mom i was also raised by several other caring women, which lead to a whole bunch of other women which soon lead to a mini village of women. I gained a lot of insight from each and every "mother" that i encountered, because of all these different encounters i think if i do end up having children i will be a very good mother. I would change some things though such as the being my child's best friend, i don't want them to get confused of the authority i hold and think its okay to do certain things.

After reading the story about the moms theory backfiring on her i was pretty shocked on how after the mother was trying to give her children freedom, her children just took charge and made the mother seem like the child. i believe that once the mother started to see that the book she read was backfiring on her she should have stopped everything and told her children what to do instead of giving them choices. My mom always tells me i gain freedom i don't just ask for it and get it. So for this mother to proceed with the abuse from her children makes me think she wasn't a natural mother to begin with.

I think some of the 7 baby B's are complete BS and have nothing to do with parenting. Such as breast feeding i don't get how breast feeding helps you ready your babies body language or how it helps you realize cues, i think you can do both of those things by just watching your baby and bonding in different ways. Also "bedding close to baby" sleeping with a baby makes them to dependant on there mother, what happens when they go to there first sleep over? they are not going to be allowed to sleep with there friends mom (i didn't mean that in a sexual manner at all) Parenting should be based of of personal experience and off of how you think you should parent, but also receive advice and input from those close to you who have maybe parented previously.

interveiws

1. how have past experience effected the relationship your in now?/ your most recent relationship.

2. Which emotion/ emotions do you mostly base your relationships off of?

3. do past relationships determine the emotional abuse you can handle?

4. How do insecurities effect the way you emotionally handle a situation with your significant other?

Leah:

1. Being in past relationships I've learned to be more secure about my feelings because in the past i was treated unwell.

2. Trust, honesty, not just the physical feelings the emotional as well.

3. Sometimes because lets you get cheated on two times previously and your in a new relationship you may have trust issues with your new partner.

4. I explain my feelings and don't hold back on them.

Yazmin

1. I think that every relationship you go through will teach you something and that something can improve your next relationship if your willing to put in what you learn.

2. How I feel, how the person feels, and what possibilities there are of a relationship.

3. I think I'm over the phase of taking emotional abuse.

4. I'm not insecure so they don't.

Franny

1. I have trust issues because i was lied to a lot, although my past relationship was a very unhealthy one i have learned a lot about what is acceptable and what is not. I now know what i don't want in a relationship, but as i am growing up i am finding that it is much more difficult than i want it to be.

2. Without trust a relationship will not go very far, i think communication is key and you should be able to open up to the person completely so that the relationship is healthy.

3. I think after the last relationship i was in nothing could be as bad as it was with that person. Althought i was put though a lot i have become stronger because of it.

4. I am insecure about a bunch of think but only because i was put down for so long.

All three people i asked seemed to have similar opinions about most of the questions. When it came to the personal questions about insecurity i found it interesting how Yasmin said she was beyond the point of emotional abuse indicating that she has encountered to much of it to let it effect her, Yet in the question after she said she wasn't insecure. I personally would have some insecurities if people kept emotionally abusing me but i find Yasmin to be emotionally stable because of all her emotional "abuse"

Question for survey: Do past relationships make you insecure about present relationships?

Part 1: why do some relationships fall apart once a label is given to them while other relationships stay strong?

part 2:

Matt's: i found your question to be very deep and interesting. I've never heard someone ask me this but i believe this is a good question and i have know correction to give you.

Leah: i think your question is good but maybe you want to focus on one certain aspect of a relationship such as how do insecurities make a relationship end or another aspect that your interested in (ex's, trust, past experiences e.c.t.)

part 3: Revised question... How do some relationships fall apart once a label is given to them while other relationships stay strong?

I typed into google "how to make love work" and i found an interesting site advertising the 3 essentials to making a relationship work. 1. rules 2. roles 3. rituals I figured that a new couple using these 3 "tips" or "rules" to start there new relationship could be scared of having to abide by rules and obligations so there only way out of the situation is breaking up. Fortinberry, Alicia. "What makes a Relationship work? ."The 3 Essentials for Building Successful Relationships . 2000. Print.

"why do relationships fail?" Stated We are living in a divorce culture. Out of the couples who do remain married, it’s certain that a good number are no longer happy or in love, despite the fact they aren’t officially divorced. It's estimated that 75 to 80 percent of all relationships fail." Meaning most couples aren't happy and fail because they fall out of love with each other. This can help me answer my question because i can relate my question to married couples and interview a married couple and see if they agree or disagree with what this website stated( obviously ill ask each partner in the relationship separately) "Why do Relationships Fail? And WHat to do about it! 431." Why do Relationships fail? And Relationships Restoration! (2007): n. pag. Web. 13 May 2010. .

The title of couple might bring back the fear of a past relationships, or once they become a "couple" they get bored with each other, there's only sex and no communication, at least these are some of the reasons said by datepad.com These 10 reasons of why relationships end can help me minimize some of the more common reasons relationships end. "The Top Ten Reasons Couples Break Up." Top Ten Reasons Couples Break Up (2009): n. pag. Web. 13 May 2010. .

Another website stated that some reasons for breaking up are caused by not communicating, neglecting the other persons feelings, and boring although these are only some reasons they are similar or the same as to the website i found before this. So i want to compare and contrast what ends a relationship the most and see if that connects to being an actual couple. Michaels, Erik "Top 6 Reasons Couples Break Up." Top 6 Reasons Couples Break Up. 9 Nov. 2007 EzineArticles.com. 13 May. 2010

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54

After taking the quiz the results said i am a journalist with an uncanny sense of the motivations of other. I don't really understand with this means but while taking the test i asked my friends for some help with certain questions. I don't think the results where to accurate because it also stated "life is an exciting drama" and although i have been involved in drama i honestly can't stand it. The process of taking this quiz also involved me really thinking about how i act and my dislikes and likes, it made me get close to my inner self.

survey response

Part 2: While taking the survey i read the questions out loud to my mom and surprisingly enough here answers where the same as mine. Although my mother was standing right next to me i was very honest about my answers and surprisingly that brought up grate talk at the dinner table. There weren't many questions that made me stop and think, but there where ones that shocked me. Such as is there violence or drug abuse in your house hold. I found questions like this personal but also alarming.

part 3: After looking over the results of the survey i found it interesting how when people where asked if they valued there family, if there family valued them, and if they trust there family majority of people said yes exactly, but when the question "have you thought about suicide" 5 people said yes extremely and 12 said yes generally, my thoughts about this where that if people have such respect for there family and love for there family why are kids thinking about suicide ? Also when students where asked if friends come over family 18 students responded with maybe, sometimes. So when looking over these responses i don't know how students can value there family so much but then say they would choose a friend before family. I believe some students might have found this survey a way to tell someone how they truly feel (when talking about suicide) and because they love there family so much they didn't want to hurt them by telling them how they really feel, I'm not sure how accurate my assumption is but its

part 4: When comparing the first survey about sex and adolescence to the survey we took the section consisting of partnering, romance, and sexuality it was interesting to see that teen women between 15 and 19 account for one third of chlamydia and gonorrhea infections, and when students between the ages of 16 and 17 where asked if they had unprotected sex in total 4 people said no. Its obvious why young teen moms between the ages of 15 and 19 are getting disease because they have unprotected sex. It would be interesting to see if that question (do you have unprotected sex) was asked in person with girls between the ages of 15 and 19 if they would answer truthfully or lie. Comparing both of these surveys shows that no matter where the survey comes from the answers will most likely be similar and when comparing two different surveys on the same topic you see how when the age group in which you are talking about is answering the questions the results are similar to the survey that just gathered up information. After taking this survey and comparing to other surveys i realized that surveys are a great way to gain information that is mostly accurate and you get your answers quickly.

hw 52

My family have a very big impact on the theories that i believe in and follow. A main theme in my life is family is over everything. As I've matured I've come to learn that although i have friends that are really close to me and almost like family they could never replace my real family. As we grow up some of us distance ourselves from our real family and connect with our friends and build a second family. If i look back on my life i realized when ever i was down even though i talked to my friends about what was bothering me, when i went to a family member they always made me feel better.

Love is a feeling most people don't know how to explain. When its brought up for the first time with a couple its usually a tense conversation. But what if a couple talks about they say they "love" each other but when they are in public he/she denies the other? Is that love? I had an intense conversations with one of my classmates about this and she insisted that her first love is the real thing, but when he is asked about her he denies her and calls her ugly and so on an so forth.

I was always taught that love will come naturally and in time, and when your in love it will feel perfect and nothing will stand in its way. But now that i think about it what if you yourself feel that your in love but there are to many obstacle's standing between you and that person? Does that mean its not meant to be? I've thought long and hard about this love thing and i believe that despite what everyone might think if your in love and there are obstacle's you should fight for what you want.

But enough about this love stuff whats going on with school? Teachers demand respect but what about students shouldn't we demand respect as well? I understand that since there older and "wiser" they deserve our respect but the theory that teachers are always right and elders get automatic respect is not a theory i live by. My parents have been getting after me about respecting teachers since i was in second grade. I personally find no reason to respect somebody who doesn't respect me. Same thing goes to a stranger on the street, when ever somebody bumps me in the street and doesn't say sorry i always wonder what are they thinking. Don't they theories about being courteous? Or do people just not care because your nobody to them. How do they know I'm not the person that's going to save them from a burning building one day. A very big theory i was taught was treat others the way you want to be treated. Yes my family is religious so yes another big theory of mine is that we live life the "right" way we will all go to heaven.

My idea of the right way of living is be courteous to everyone and try to live life with no regrets, just mistakes that you learn from. I don't really know what the whole point in someones life is but i have an idea of what mine is. I believe it's to impact others life's and help them succeed with goals they have. Life is spontaneous so i think theories are pointless and we should just deal with what life throws at us daily and try not to plan the way we react to certain things.